run FATTY run

to be fat or not to be fat…

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Look at him run. Just look at him go! All that running effort and it looks like he is standing still. Oh look… he came last… again.

Yip that was me.

Since I can remember, I was the short little fat kid that competed with last place in any and every race. Last to be chosen for a team sport. Always the ugly friend of the good looking boy at school. Even when I played spin the bottle; somehow that damn bottle would miss me everytime and I couldn’t get a kiss from the hottest girl in school.

What a life!

Thankfully that little fat kid has run 3 x 90 km Ultra Marathons and completed a Ironman and still runs for the joy of it… and got to kiss many many HOT girls. Seems like the fat just fell off me since then?

Ever picked up a pair of spandex, held them high and say to yourself… this my only friend at the moment? Whether you have not, it would be assumed that the other 99% of your wardrobe is currently your enemy.  This is large in part to none of your clothes fitting (we have all been there) and hence spandex steps in and fits like a hand in a glove.

A few days ago a girl asked me a question. If your wife had to pick up 20kgs, would you still want to be with her? This makes it the question all the more interesting because the girl is good looking, a health nut, never misses leg day and presents herself like a million dollars. All impressive!

Interesting question considering that 20kg weighs as much as a bag of dog food. Please know that the weight of dog food is not how I would make my decision!

So I slowly responded and said; your question is based on what society thinks of fat people. Not on the basis of values and morality. Of course she was visibly confused but then again who wouldn’t be. Society wants YES or NO answers. Society wants people to make decisions on the basis of personal looks. How they make you feel! How people stare at you when you have a HOT partner etc etc.

To calm her confusion, I said that being fat is not an issue of being HOT or NOT. It’s a matter of physical and mental health. Without a doubt, when people get into a relationship, we tend to get a little lazy because we are very cozy. I completely get that. However, becoming overweight because you are lazy is a health risk and will definitely place strain on your relationship.

The strangest thing is that just this past weekend my wife and I discussed the issue of weight. I explained to her that should we become overweight, ultimately our health is at risk. It’s got nothing to do with whether I want to still be with her or not. Physically, everything gets harder to do. Walking to the car, walking up stairs and even walking to make natures finest coffee in the morning. Because our physical bodies are taking so much strain, mentally, our brains become lazy too and we start lacking the motivation to do the normal everyday things.

All of this starts impacting the relationship. Woman naturally start avoiding friends and social gatherings. Summer becomes the worst time of year. Going to the beach is considered more like visiting nuclear disaster site. It just won’t happen. From a guys perspective, we just lean back and say: I invested a lot of money in this stomach. A stomach so big that we ask our friends if our zipper is up because we can’t see what’s happening down there.

I would assume (research according to a knee jerk response) that 60% of people never wake up and go: “Yay, today I’m going to eat kale, raw spinach, celery and lick the dew off the leaf of a avocado tree and tomorrow I’ll have lost 5 kgs” Nope, most of the time people make the change because of health scares and sometimes it’s to late.

My wife wouldn’t pick up 20kgs is the correct response. My wife chooses to be a blessing to me and her family through healthy decisions made daily. She considers her health as a priority and understands that poor health decisions become a burden on our relationship… short and long term.

Now we know.

It’s all about healthy decisions and not about being HOT or NOT! Spandex should be your friend in health… not because of health scares.

So just get out there and run FATTY run. And laugh about it! Always laugh!

PS: no one was fat shamed or poked with a stick during the writing of this blog

 

I ruined my marriage…

What is in a name?

There is a story doing the rounds, not sure how true it is, but it has an incredible moral lesson in it for us all. Let me tell it with less accuracy and more drama & humour. I’ll be sure to keep the moral compass flying high.

When Alexander the Great ruled, he was feared among nations. One day, when he was not conquering the known world and driving fear into his neighbours, he was in his castle resting. By resting, he had a drinking problem (this is fact) and probably kicking back on the couch watching Netflix – Love Island. While he just got into the series, he was interrupted by one of his guards. His guards walked into this lounge (picture that if you will) with a sentry in hand, who was caught sleeping while on the job. The sentry was thrown to the floor and visibly shaken from what his fate may be. Alexander the Great was known as a man for little time when it comes to excuses and failure.

With anger, Alexander the Great asked his guard why he would dare interrupt him watching season 1 episode 3 of Love Island? The guard responded with fear and great apology that his sentry was found sleeping at his post, while he was responsible for guarding the castle. After picking up the remote and pressing pause to ensure he missed nothing, Alexander the Great turned his attention to a man on the floor, stood up and never came close to towering over him. This is largely due to Alexander the Great being shorter than your average man (this is fact). He leaned over and asked the sentry; what is your name? The sentry with a fear filled tone answered, my name is Alexander. Your name is what? The sentry replied again, my name is Alexander. The other Alexander, the Great one was filled with rage and picked the sentry off the floor, stood him to his feet and yelled out… either change your name or change your conduct!

What is in a name?

Why do certain names have importance, while others get lost in history?

Why should people care about your name?

What in the world do names, Alexander the Great and a weeping soldier have to do with this?

Your name is linked to everything you say, think and do i.e. your behaviour & character or as Alexander the Great put it… your conduct! Hence, the “importance” is tied to some names, and “lost in history” for others.

Men with an ounce of ambition, walk through life with the purpose of leaving a legacy. This is a good thing. Legacy is broken down into various categories but you get the just of it. All of this is pointless, if you have achieved eternal riches, mega mansions, drive the fastest car’s, have the hottest blondes or brunettes as wives etc… but lost your soul along the way i.e. lost your name i.e. behaviour and character along the way!

Inheriting the world is a fool’s goal. Seek to inherit your partners heart and trust in your lifetime. Start there and the rest generally falls into place.

Be a leader of your relationship, day in and day out. Guide, nurture and make changes for the empowerment of both parties. Never give up developing good long lasting character, and behaviour that your name will live in the annals of history. Even if you are just remembered on a Facebook or twitter post for being the most incredible “NAME” someone had the blessing of spending time with.

Your name is important. Live up to it regardless of the challenge!

In conclusion, it is not as easy as it sounds, but living up to your name on a daily basis is easier than this one sentence. I ruined my marriage because I did not live up to my name!

Further watching on leadership:

Want to sound like a leader? Start by saying your name right by Laura Sicola

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02EJ1IdC6tE

You are worth more than a golden egg…

5 min before writing this blog, I read a post on LinkedIn (https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/30056-i-quit-my-job) which confirms the many issues people have… realising “Worth”. Specifically, their own invaluable “Self Worth. Sadly too many people suffer through this life because their job, house, car, relationships, friends etc take preference over there self worth.

I’ve had the privilege of mentoring a candidate attorney for several months now. She is young, spirited, hard-working and easy on the eye. To be honest… her character far out shines her looks. She recently started working for a firm to commence her articles in order to finalise her degree to become an attorney. I still remember the day she let me know; I got an opportunity to start my articles. Her excitement was unforgettable.

Until…

It wasn’t long until she informed me her boss was purposefully looking her up & down, while making crued and highly unprofessional sexual innuendos. It seems that at this point she got the opportunity at this legal firm to be a “playmate”. A tool for her enjoyment. (read my blog – A man says to a prostitute)

Long story short…

She was absolutely gutted by how her desire to push ahead with achieving her degree may come at a high price… giving into the boss? It was evident that with not giving into his daily remarks, her life became a living hell in the office. To such a degree that tears became a custom throughout the day just to deal with the rude awakening of poor leadership and potentially her broken dreams.

After hours of discussions between her & I, I constantly highlighted the concept of worth. How much are your dreams worth? What would you sacrifice to achieve becoming an attorney? Your body, your career, your self-worth?

Thankfully yesterday all our conversations provided her with enough courage to resign. In her resignation she stated that his leadership & sexual advances were highly unprofessional. His response to her was once again evidence of that!

The moral of this story is that her self-worth means more than a degree. She dared not give up on the beauty that resides in who she really is… a priceless human being that wont be bought by favour to get ahead. There is always another way to achieve becoming an attorney and she has already put her Plan B in place.

Never ever ever ever… sacrifice your self-worth to get ahead in this life.

Your worth more than all the golden eggs in the world… please remember that!

Man says to a prostitute…

I doubt very much that men have any meaningful words to say to a prostitute… and visa versa.

This is commonly known as a simple transaction… an engage of goods for monetary compensation. Considering this, a man says to a prostitute, I don’t want you, I just want your body!

Be rest assured that this isn’t much different in today’s relationships. Two people are together for various reasons that can be described as a day-to-day “transaction”.

The problem with individuals today, is that we are becoming too lazy to influence a meaningful and rewarding relationship to activate… SEX! Sex in itself is the outcome of communication. I’ll write a blog about this at a later stage but if you not convinced… read “Sex Begins in the Kitchen”: Creating Intimacy to Make Your Marriage Sizzle by Kevin Leman. Furthermore, just consider one night stands or having friends with benefits… fun right? These individuals want the benefits of a relationship but not the responsibility!

Why do you think cheating is so popular? Both individuals dress up, put on their best perfume and use the most choice words. This done over time, with right tone and use of words can only result in one thing… SEX. It’s the process of being on your best behaviour to the opposite sex on a daily basis; in all aspects of your life that has the same result… SEX!

When a man says to their partner (or visa versa), I’m only interested in your good looks, your curvy tight body and skin-tight jeans, he is ultimately using their partner as a tool; Something he can use to get the job down and then let her go on her merry way.

Im a runner, tennis player and other fun things. But never have I taken my sporting equipment (a tool) to bed with me. Tools are used for a period of time and put away. Your partner is a human being, a physical and priceless being that deserves to be treated with absolute worth. Not to be treated as a tool for your release!

 

Next time you want to get all fresh and kinky with your partner… let it be because of it starting in the kitchen.