Several years ago, I was visiting my parents on their farm. It was a particularly beautiful day & visiting them just made it so much better.
My dad was in the kitchen washing dishes. He & mom made a life long arrangement, that he will keep washing the dishes if my mother keeps cooking her delicious food. The agreement still stands to this day.
At the time of this visit, I was single. Happy or not about being single, I always had an interest in people & we connect. At this point, I asked my dad a question that gave rise to many great ideas… like this blog.
Dad, what is the secret to you & mum’s 32 years of marriage? Dad casually responded; ” I never tried to change your mother’. The response left me a little surprised as I must admit I expected the usual cliche… love, love, love. Nevertheless, we continued talking and about 15min, i found my mum in the bedroom, going about her daily chores. While mum was changing the bed linen, I raised the same question; what is the secret to you & dad’s 32 years of marriage? Mum had a little more to say but her response was unbelievable. Mum said that dad may be a little bit difficult at times (which man isnt) but she respected him… and never tried to change him!
What? How is it that 2 people, 2 different rooms can have the same answer?
Throughout my life, my folks were perfectly individual. In other words, they always worked hard to the become the best version of themselves… not a version of their partner. 32 Years of a successful marriage is evidence of this.
Almost always, when boy meets girl and visa versa, people try to change the things of the other person, for no apparent reason. The problem with this is that we ruin a perfect opportunity to meet some special… being perfect because of their imperfections.
Want a relationship for longer than 3 months… don’t try to change the other person. Let them be the best version of themselves!
In other words… let the apple be the apple!
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Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton